Tonight is the opening up in Sedona from 5 to 8PM. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. It's always this way before an opening for me. I think it's the same thing an actor experiences before they hit the stage. I took drama in High School and intro to acting in College and felt the same before performances. The funny thing about acting is even though the actor is acting on stage they're always revealing the depths of their soul to you. In my college class the instructor told us to reach into ourselves to find the character we were portraying. I guess that's the funny thing about us as humans. We have so many inner demons and angels within us. It's ultimately which ones we choose to express in our daily lives or which ones we allow to control our actions more or less. We all have the potential to be the fireman who selflessly runs into a burning building to save someone or the arsonist who set the building a flame in the first place.
I guess that's why I love painting the canvases filled with the people and buildings I do. It's an bottomless well of personalities and stories to pull from. I don't have to worry about repeating myself, naturally change, grow and yet maintain the consistency that the viewing public likes to have in an artist. I hope, but can't allow myself to fall into formulas here.
Yes, we like for our favorite artists, directors, actors, and musicians to be consistent to some extent. If a band's first LP is fantastic, has this amazing sound and I listen to it 500 plus times I want their second release to effect me the same way. I'm disappointed when it doesn't and everyone else is too. Yes, I respect their artistic integrity not to fall into a formula, but ultimately I want the next release to be a continuation of the sound of the previous one that effected me so deeply. It's an unrealistic expectation, but it's one we all have. The reason it's unrealistic is that every human being involved is constantly changing. They're not the same artist they were when they created the first release and neither are we as the audience. Also the more you listen or view a work of art the more personal meaning you place into the work itself. The beauty of being an artist and being the fan is the fact that the work has a life of it's own and grows from and within both individuals. The art is alive and is given this life by being created and enjoyed.
A little about the painting above. It's called But Now It's Gone. I finished it right before the Modified Opening and only showed a snap shot of it in the very beginning without any further updates. I've been painting completely from my subconscious lately, which is fun because I figure out the meaning of the works as I'm painting them. Simultaneously being the creator and viewer at the same time. What I've figured out is that the two men in the painting are in a deep relationship with each other whether romantic or just life long best friends. They are at an impasse within the relationship and the innocence or the way they were with each other is now gone (hence the title). Oddly, enough though as the randomly collaged text "Gifts" implies this isn't truly a bad place to be in. If they get through this they're feelings for one another will deepen and the relationship be stronger than before.
